Real Strength

Once again, it's been a long time since I've posted anything on here. So much has changed. I finally started dating the girl of my dreams, I got a job, and school is almost over. Just 9 days ago, I got engaged, to boot! As time passes, I've been able to spend less time on training, and honestly I think it's for the best.

I'll never be the best in the world.

That's the truth. Plain and simple. I lift because I love it, but there is no good reason to sacrifice all I have to pursue elite status. I have nothing to prove. One year ago, if you would have told me that I'd be thinking like this, 19 year old me would have called you insane. There was nothing more that guy wanted than to be the very best. But there is so much more to life than lifting. And there is so much more to being strong than moving big weights.

In about one year, I'm going to be a husband. Just saying that blows my mind. I know in my heart, right now, I'm not ready for that. I am definitely working towards it, but I'm just not there. God has a lot of molding and shaping to do with my heart. After Melyssa and I got engaged, I only realized that there is so much more sin and darkness in my heart than I thought. I have failed her more in this past week than I have over the past several months. I don't want to fail her as a husband. She deserves better than that.

The weakness I felt after failing to love my fiancee was worse than failing any lift. Worse than being crushed by any bar. More painful than losing any contest. I am not strong enough. I am not strong enough. I am not strong enough.

So the temptation from all this is to tell myself to "be better." To pull myself up by my bootstraps and proclaim that "I will not fail!" Foolishness. Stupidity. I am human and I am sinful. I cannot change on my own strength. I cannot learn to love my fiancee more just by willing it to happen.

I have to run to the cross. Only by surrendering my life more and more completely to Jesus can I change my heart. Only then can I learn to love unconditionally. Only then can I learn to be whole. Only then will I find strength, satisfaction, and peace.

My favorite verse is Joshua 1:9. "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

I am too quick to apply that verse to physical strength and hardship. I need to remind myself that God is with me wherever I go in my spiritual battles, and that He is always there to give me the strength to flee from sin. I can be courageous in the face of failure and doubt and persecution and trials, all because God is with me and is the one who leads me.

I just have to trust and surrender to Him.

Stay Strong,
JB

Training Log: 6/27/14

Friday 6/27/14

Deadlifts are hard sometimes. I honestly got scared of pulling 545 and it came back to bite me in the butt.

Deadlift:
1x5 135
1x4 225
1x3 315
1x2 405
1x1 455
1x1 495
3x1 545 (all failed)

Training Log: 6/13/14

Hitting a PR is such a good feeling, and it puts me in a state of mind where it almost doesn't matter what happens the rest of the day.

Deadlift:

2x5 135

1x4 225

1x3 315

1x2 405

1x1 455

1x1 515 (PR!)

Speed Deadlift:

3x3 380

Power Shrug:

2x5 380

SLDL:

2x5 365

Bent Over Row:

2x5 205

Good Morning:

2x5 175

Lat Pulldown:
2x5 180

Training Log: 6/11/14

Yesterday's pause squat and bench session was kinda brutal. Low bar is really taxing my mid back and I like it. We'll see how this affects deadlifts tomorrow.

3 Breath Pause Squat:
2x8 Bar
1x5 95
1x3 135
1x2 185
3x3 245

Bench:
1x15 Bar
1x10 95
1x8 135
1x6 185
1x4 225
2x2 250
(add slingshot)
3x8 225
(no slingshot)
1x14 135

Training Log: 6/10/14

Bodybuilding style assistance work for my Tuesday workout

Leg Press:
2x8 90
1x6 180
1x5 270
8x3 360

T-Bar Row:
1x15 45
1x12 90
1x10 135
3x10 180

Hammer Strength Shoulder Press:
1x20 90
1x15 140
3x10 180

Dumbbell Curl:
2x8 30
5x5 50